Period To Stop Being Polite And Start Being Real: Your Weekend Horoscopes April 28 -3 0th

The seasons are officially changing, which means they’re a lot of powerful energy being shot at us from the stars right now. Feel like you’re inexplicably bitchier than normal? Don’t blame your period, blamed Mercury! Feel like you wanna ditch all your friends and knapsack across Europe? Yeah, that’s Uranus. On the one hand, it is feasible to fairly frustrating to have the stars attaining you mood swaying so hard you could be on, but on the other hand, perhaps you can harness some of that aggressive energy into sorting out all the shit you’ve been avoiding. There are period to be fake and feign you love everyone, and there are times to get real and let the world know it is annoying AF. This may be one of those times. And when The Universe tells you to be a bitch, a bitch you must become.

Aries

This past week watched some conflict in your relationships, Aries. While things may be all patched up by now, odds are youre still harboring some negative impressions about the entire situation. Pro-tip: get those out now. Sit your friend/ roommate/ boyfriend back down and let them know that things arent quite as resolved as youd hoped. Will it be awkward? Hell yeah. Despite how makes it appear, actual showdown is the worst. But addressing it now is better than blowing up after a bottle of wine this weekend.

Taurus

At times, Taurus, it can seem like the world is against you. Hell, sometimes this world actually is against you. I know this, I talk to the stars. While this last week may have been a rough one for you, its important to remember that there are people in their own lives who will have your back no matter what. Crazy, right? This weekend, surround yourself with those loyal few, and try your best to dismis everybody else. A few days with your inner circle will be sure to get you out of this funk.

Gemini

You know what sucks, Gemini? Their own lives as of late. Like youre second term Obama emphasized rn, and when things like get this its important to keep one thing in mind: yourself. You are allowed to admit youre emphasized. Youre allowed to complain. Youre allowed to shut down and hibernate. Whatever you need to do to get yourself feeling even a semblance of your normal ego, use these next two days to do it. Your friends will understand if you drop off the map for a few days, but perhaps warn them so they dont alert the authorities or anything.

Cancer

Youve been having a rough time of it, Cancer, and we feel for you. Actually. But heres the thing. Addressing your issues such as the person or persons causing them? Great idea. Taking it out on people around you because youre in a shitty mood? Less than great idea. Some may even call it a terrible one. This weekend, try and figure out who youre pissed at, what youre mad about, and then go fix it. While youre at it, maybe apologize to the friends youve been dragging through the mud in the meantime.

Leo

Its time to crawl out of that hole youve been hiding in, Leo. Not only do you friends miss you, but its getting to the point where they arent sure if you actually live in the same city anymore. Fix it. Reaching out sucks, but not as bad as watching a bunch of Snapchat stories of all your friends having the time of “peoples lives” while youre home binging( the scariest Friday night possible tbh ). Reward yourself for interacting actual human contact by hiding away the rest of the weekend. Thats what we like to call compromise.

Virgo

A spontaneous trip in your future, Virgo? If there wasnt already, its time to start looking at Airbnbs. Its period for you to get the hell out of town, the less contact with people the very best. Request the days off now, start saving, and then throw a dart at a map. Were talking a full experience here. Pack a bunch of flowy white dresses and oversized sunhats. You ever seen? Thats the vibe, minus the suicide. The next few months will seem less treacherous knowing theres a bulk of tranquility waiting on the other side.

Libra

Work got you down, Libra? More specifically, is your boss merely the fucking worst? While you may take consolation in the fact that basically everyone is in the same boat as you, it doesnt actually help your situation. There are two routes to take here: suck it up and hope for a bomb recommendation when you ultimately move on, or discontinue. Its actually that simple. This weekend, break out the pros and cons listing and figure out what you want to do. Heres a starter: Pros to sucking it up, being able to pay rent. Cons, your dignity. Feel free to take it from there and whatever you do, make sure theres plenty of wine around for the decision making process.

Scorpio

Newsflash, Scorpio: Its period you made a change. Youve been in a rut for a while now, and everyone seems to have noticed but you. Dislike your job? Cease it. Dislike your city? Leave it. Hate your friends? Tough, everyone does. But actually, you could stimulate new ones. Its time to stop being so wishy washy and merely commit. Put your fund( all three dollars of it) where you mouth is and merely jump. Itll be scary as hell, but also probably worth it.

Sagittarius

This weekend has one thing, and one thing only, in store for you, Sagittarius. Brace yourself. Its food. Seriously. Youre going to expend the next two days living the truest American dream: feeing everything in sight and not feeling guilty about it. This is a weekend of luxury, and dont let anyone stand in your way. Is there a place youve been itching to try but no one wants to go with you? Fuck it, go by yourself. Wake up from a nap craving a donut. Eat that donut! Whatever your belly passions, get it, and worry about the consequences come your Monday morning spin class.

Capricorn

This weekend will bring you to a crossroads, Capricorn, and youre going to have to do something that we here at Betches are ethically oppose to: make a decision. I know. Its tragic. Weve found that the best way to make decisions is drunk. Almost anyone else you ask will contest this, but theyre not writing your fucking horoscope, are they? Drunk you knows what you want. Drunk you only cares about you. Drunk you has her eyes on the prize. Let her leading you through this minefield, and then celebrate her hard work by feeing enough hash browns to soak up your inevitable hangover the next morning.

Aquarius

While it may be hard to admit, Aquarius, its time to recognize that you havent exactly been treating people the way you should be. Leaning on friends is one thing, but taking advantage of their kindness is shitty, even for us. This weekend, take a step back and assess your behavior over the past few weeks. Would you be pissed if someone treated you that way? Cool, then fix it. Perhaps start by letting your friends know that youre aware youve fucked up, and go from there. Youd be shocked how far a sincere apology can go.

Pisces

Pisces, its time to let loose. Actually. Not a casual night on the town. Not girls night and a few glass of wine. Were talking college levels of drunk. You should be expending the next two days like its your 22 nd birthday( slightly more put together than your 21 st, but not really ). Why, you may ask? Because there is a storm going your way, and this weekend is your last chance for a while is really carefree. Take full advantage by mainlining tequila like youre back in Cabo and its two-for-one shot night at El Squid. The hangover you suffer arrive Monday is likely to be the least of your concerns.

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