HomeOther I Still Miss You December 30, 2017 Other No Comments Tweet Pin It There. I said it. I am not heartbroken anymore., I’m not. I’m not just a girl saying that to convince everyone staring at her with inquisitive, intrusive eyes. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. It is. ” I miss you. There, I said it .” I no longer find you to be a habit. I do not instinctually think to call you, I don’t have your number memorized anymore( 261? Or was it 216 ?) and when something happens I do not find my helping hand reaching for a phone to start typing away to tell you all of the details. You are no longer my emergency contact and frankly, I don’t think I would recognize your voice in a crowd. There are days, and there are moments, where all I want to do is look over at you at grin and roll my eyes. There are days, and there are moments where I know I’m being stupid but you would still laugh at me. There are days, and there are moments, where I feel like you would be the only one to understand me. I can admit that there are periods where I know that even though I may not be able to remember your voice, I still miss your laugh. And I still actually want to hear it. ” I still miss you. There, I said it .” I’m no longer empty. I do not feel like I have a gaping hole shaped exactly like your torso in my chest. I do not watch the blood pulsate in my veins and see your lies flowing through me. I do not look for you to finish my sentences or to pick me up at the end of the day. I am not trying to finish anything because I’m complete. I am complete on my own. I’m whole. I find my fingers looking for the ink on your shoulders to trace and my hands looking for you to hold at night. I find myself swallowing down your name when I’m on an empty beach and wish I had more company than driftwood. I hold myself back from saying,” He would have loved this” on summer nights. I may be whole, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room. ” I still miss you. There, I said it .” I am not waiting for you anymore. I do not stay up at night, I am not sitting in my bed while look at this place the door only picturing you coming through it. I do not watch the clock move up and feel disappointed when you don’t. I do not save a pillow for you, there’s no water on the nightstand running untouched, “were not receiving” chair in my apartment with a permanent dibs. There’s nothing for you here. This is a world that I created without you. This is not yours, and I’m not waiting for you to claim your space. I’m not hoping , not wishing , not appearing , not praying. And I am most definitely not waiting. Because I’m older now, wiser now. And I know there’s nothing there for me. I’ve moved on. There is no but. I’m simply not heartbroken over you anymore. … ” I still miss you. There, I said it .” There is still a longing. I can pretend to ignore it, that it is simply a result of too many glass of wine and ballads, but it’s there. And try as I might, I do not, , cannot , deny it. Because I think there always will be. Because I still miss you. And I believe a part of me always will. Read more: About The Author Related Posts Other Processed meats rank alongside smoking as ... By October 11, 2016 Other After A Minnesota Snowfall, This Man ... By February 23, 2018 Other Orlando beyond theme parks: Rivers, culture ... By March 5, 2018 Leave a Reply Cancel reply Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.