10 Men On How Their Idea Of The Perfect Woman Has Changed From 25 To 35

2. ONE WHO STAYS IN WITH ME ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND ORDERS A PIZZA

When I was 25, the perfect girl would want to go out partying on a Friday night. Now the perfect girl would want to stay in with me on a Friday night. The perfect girl at twenty-five would walk through three feet of snow just to go out partying or see some stupid band. The perfect girl at 35 would stay inside, open a box of wine, and order a pizza.

3. AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

The older I get, the more willing I am to have sex with older women. I know that sounds sad, and it is. So the older I get, basically the perfect girl is any woman whos willing to have sex with me. Weep for me, will you?

4. THE FUNNIER THEY ARE, THE BETTER THEY ARE IN BED

In my 20s, the perfect girl to me was the prettiest girl. I think all guys think that way at 25. But now the perfect girl is the funniest girl. Why? Because the funnier they are, the better they are in bed. This is a rule of nature and Im sure one day theyll figure out how to prove it scientifically. Dont go for the pretty girl, go for the one wholl make you laugh. Your dick will thank me for it.

5. B-U-S-H

Theres only one minor detail thats changed in my vision of an ideal woman over the past ten years: Whereas I preferred my women shaved clean back then, now she has a big thick Jimi Hendrix style bush. A bush big enough to plant tomatoes in. A bush so three-dimensional, I can pick her up by it and walk her around the room like shes a human tote bag. You know how a lot of girls think beards are hot? Well, I feel the same way about bushes. So, yeahnothing has changed except now Im all about the bush. Thats B-U-S-H in case you need me to spell it.

6. ONE WHOS GOOD AT PILLOW TALK WHILE IM FALLING ASLEEP BECAUSE I JUSTSHOT MY LOAD

At 25 it was more important to me that a girl was good in bed. Now its more important that she knows how to hold a conversation when youre done having sex. I mean, Im going to fall asleep shortly after I cum anyway, so I might as well fall into slumber while having a nice chat.

7. SOUTHERN GIRLSBECAUSE THEY SMELL LIKE TOBACCO

The main thing that changed in my life over the past ten years is that I moved down South and developed a strong taste for Southern girls. Theyre sweeter, more feminine, usually more voluptuous, they looooooove to fuck, and they have that Southern drawl it puts me over the finish line every time. And they all smell like tobacco. Every last one of them. Im not even kidding. But its cool, because I love the smell of tobacco.

8. THEYRE ALL WOMEN; I WANT THEM ALL

The perfect lady at 35 is one who accepts my erectile dysfunction without mocking it like most younger girls would. On the rare occasions that Im barely able to get it up, the perfect woman would also accept my severe premature ejaculation problem without making fun of it, whereas any 25-year-old girl would have smeared my reputation across town. Just kidding! I dont know. I dont see a difference. Theyre all women. I want them all, just like I did when I was 25. Except for my mom, because that would be weird.

9. ONE WHO LOOKS TOWARD THE FUTURE RATHER THAN LIVES IN THE MOMENT

Ive been with the same girl for seven years and married to her for five. When I met her I was basically just looking for a banging girl who was smart enough and really fun to hang out with. But now it seems that the more I focus on my career, the needier she gets emotionally. Its like she cant stand me paying attention to anything but her. Mind you, shes no different than when we metbut I am. I love her I guess, but the main reason Im still married is that I dont feel like forking over 50% of my assets to her, because shes not the one who earned them. I feel stuck. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have looked for a serious girl who looked toward the future rather than a fun girl who lived in the moment.

10. ITS STILL THE SAME GIRL

The perfect girl? Its the same woman it was when I was 25, only shes ten years older now and were still married.

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